October is usually my full-on spooky reading month, and while I did read several spooky/thriller-type novels, my work schedule kept me from doing the other reading-related things I look forward to in the lead-up to Halloween, like participating fully in #scarathlon on Litsy or doing one or more creepy-season swaps.
There is a silver lining to this situation: The limitations imposed by my work schedule have inspired me to reevaluate my priorities and how I want to build my career. No conclusions have made themselves apparent yet, but I’m making some limited progress on letting myself approach the situation with curiosity and openness. I have a tendency to cross paths off my list without fully exploring them based on perceived difficulty or expense or a fear that I won’t be good at them, but I’m starting to realize that, especially at my age, crossing things off the list for now may well be crossing them off the list for my whole lifetime, and that feels a little dramatic. I’m working to remind myself that brainstorming isn’t the same as committing to a path, so I’m actually free to dream a little.
The other thing I realize is that, while I’ve always liked the security of a set schedule and working for someone else, I’ve always gravitated towards pursuing multiple avenues at the same time, like when I was in my 20s and worked an office job in addition to doing doula work, tutoring language arts, leading a writing group, and doing a publishing industry internship. It’s possible that I’m well suited for the current gig-based work climate, and perhaps this is the time to embrace my varied interests.
Also, I’m starting to recognize that while my ingrained ability to read people and anticipate their needs makes me good at giving professions (teaching, doulaing, customer service), it also drains me because I’ve never learned to balance a focus on other people’s needs with meeting my own needs. I enjoy the interpersonal connection of that kind of work, but I wonder if I would feel better if I balanced “serving” work with something complementary, maybe something creative and/or solitary, something that will challenge me in a different way so I don’t feel so worn down in one area of my life.
This mid-life crisis is lasting a very, very long time.
But at least I have books to enjoy while I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life!
October’s Completed Books:
- The Hollow by Agatha Christie (my Christie for the month, this one has a different feel than the earlier Poirot mysteries, which is refreshing)
- The Pisces by Melissa Broder (weird, kind of sexy leap into depression and codependency)
- How Can I Help You by Laura Sims (wickedly satisfying novel with another unreliable narrator (or two) and a library setting)
- Bunny by Mona Awad (perhaps my favorite read in October, deliciously weird)
- What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher (gothic horror novel that reminds me of Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s Mexican Gothic)
- Don’t Fear the Reaper by Stephen Graham Jones (second in a slasher-inspired trilogy; not as good as the first, My Heart is a Chainsaw, which I read in September, but I’ll still read the third when it comes out)
- Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk (very well-written unreliable narrator and lots of Blake references that put my English degree to use)
- Such Sharp Teeth by Rachel Harrison (kind of a fun take on a werewolf story)
- The Wife Upstairs by Rachel Hawkins (the second of two books by Rachels that I read this month, this one is a Jane Eyre retelling that was a little more on the nose than I would have liked)
- His Bloody Project by Graeme Macrae Burnet (the second of two books I read with an author with the name Graeme/Graham this month. I like the premise, but the loose ends left me wanting and not in a pleasant way)
- Ocean State by Stewart O’Nan (my first O’Nan, I found this one not awesome but interesting enough that I’ve added another of his novels to my TBR)
- They Never Learn by Layne Fargo (a revenge plot with at least one too many twists and characters that are less three-dimensional than they might be)
Stats (pretty charts thanks to The StoryGraph):
Currently Reading:
- The Reformatory by Tananarive Due
- There Are No Accidents by Jessie Singer
- Poguemahone by Patrick McCabe
To-Read for November:
In addition to my StoryGraph, you can see my Litsy profile for status updates throughout the month and my Instagram (@ImperfectHappiness) for mostly not-book-related photos.
Imperfect Happiness 