I’m not shining brightly today. Not remotely.
I’m not going to list all of the things that are bringing me down because even in my stormy state, I recognize that that’s neither helpful for my mood nor is it amusing to blog readers.
So, I’m taking a break. I’m not trying to smile. I’m not feeling grateful about the little things. I’m not hugging people. And I’m okay with that for now. The most I’m trying to do right now is not dwell on the long, long days (of one-room living stranded in a foreign place whose roads are practically unnavigable by foot, bike, or car) that are stretched out before me indefinitely.
I’m focusing on the “imperfect” part rather than on the “happiness” part.
5 Replies to “I’m a Little Storm Cloud”
I’m right there with you today CJ. ((hug))
Hi, CJ…I am glad you survived your cross-country travels and made it safely to MA. I really enjoyed reading about your road trip (and your cat is super cute!). Anyhoo…adjusting to a new place can be challenging, for sure. When I moved from TX to Scotland, I went from having Mexican food at least 5 times per week to having none for 9 months! Talk about a grieving period! 😉 Put it all works out eventually. As one of my fave quotes goes, ‘Everything is ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.’ Also, I wanted to share with you an article I came across that I thought might interest you as well: http://www.carlkingcreative.com/10-myths-about-introverts. 🙂
You’ve been through a lot of pretty dramatic transitions over the last few months. Plus, you’ve been mothering and wifing. Those responsibilities don’t often lend themselves well to allowing self-reflection and self-reference. Now, you’re in an alien land. It’s not a wonder things might back up on you. I hope you get some rest and support as you have some rough days.
hang in there….our first year in Wisconsin was really hard. I had to make jokes about how many U-turns I had to make to go about daily errands. I couldn’t drive anywhere without errors for about 2 years, and I avoided shopping for everything but groceries because I never could figure out how to get to Target (our main store). I remember what you first told me when you moved to Utah. You said you were trying to meet as many people as quickly as possible to increase your chances of making friends, building community, etc. Things will get better when you get settlled in and start meeting people.
I know the feeling. When I first moved here from Wisconsin I loved it but hated leaving everything behind. I wanted to move back ‘home’ numerous times and luckily my brother talked me out of it. It took about 6 months or MORE to stop thinking that constantly. It was worse when i would go home to visit in Wisconsin and have to come home after seeing all my family and friends but know I had to continue to make my home in my new place.
It was hard…