I’m Dappled and Drowsy and Ready to Sleep

From Danielle LaPorte, who frequently says just the thing I need to hear just when I need to hear it, on the value of resting between projects:

We rest to integrate the benefits of the work that we have done.

CLEAN UP without rushing, without panic or guilt, and with respect for the patience you’ve been shown.

BE STILL in the ways that your body and mind crave.

LET THE NEWNESS ROOT. Allow yourself to be sensationally excited…without acting on it…yet.

When you rest, you have space for all of it.

And when you rise to meet the future, you will be very, very ready.

via creativity, the corpse pose + what to do in between projects | White Hot Truth: because self-realization rocks.

I’m once again reminding myself that I’ve had a doozy of a 2011. Deaths, layoffs, cross-country moves, hurricanes, not to mention the completion of a year-long Happiness Project.

After all of this, maybe it isn’t a horrible thing if I want to hole up in the house for a couple of weeks and just let myself catch up a little.

I keep feeling like I’m not really here in this state, this house. It doesn’t seem real. I’ve blamed Facebook for this lack of connectedness in the real world, so I’ve attempted to pull back from my virtual life. I’ve jumped into a social scene here with both feet, keeping myself busy every day, hoping to more firmly root myself in my geographical reality.

So far, I’ve not had much luck with this technique. And I’m exhausted.

I’m realizing that I don’t need to try to settle in. I breathe the air, I eat the food, I drink the water. Gradually, it will become a part of my being, and I will belong to this place. I don’t need to do anything but stop fighting it and let myself belong.

This is where the quiet comes in. Much like our brains use our time asleep to integrate the day’s thoughts, emotions, and activities, I need to let myself rest to integrate all of the changes these past months.

This isn’t the time for new, even though “new” and “unsettled” are where I feel safe right now. This is the time for letting the new become the familiar and the familiar to become home. Then I’ll have a firm starting point for my next project, whatever it is.

Maybe I’ll take a cue from Simon and Garfunkel:

Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.

5 comments

  1. Pingback: was it a bad place? | Madeline Scribes
  2. Melanie Meadors · September 1, 2011

    Sounds like you need some nesting time!! Everyone deserves a rest now and then, especially after the crazy year you’ve had. Some nice family time, just you guys reconnecting and figuring out your natural rhythm in this place. Then let the outside trickle in as you figure out what is important in your lives. 🙂

    Like

    • CJ · September 1, 2011

      Well, the rest is going to have to happen around the homeschool co-op and flute lessons and Music Together and Simple Machines, all of which I’ve committed to already. Not that I can’t un-commit. I just have this naggy little voice in my head telling me I can’t take any of these extras away from the kids, especially for myself. I have to find some way to shut that naggy little voice up…

      Like

  3. ceceliafutch · September 1, 2011

    What a wonderful post! Having just relocated hundreds of miles from my previous “home,” I can identify with a lot of what you say. Your insight into “being” and letting the “doing” subside spoke to me. Thank you for reflecting, and then sharing your reflections. Many of us benefit as a result. Nice post.

    Like

    • CJ · September 1, 2011

      And thank you for the compliment!

      Like

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