Today is my eleventh wedding anniversary.
In honor of this event, here’s a quote about marriage and happiness.
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.
-Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
As far as I can tell, my husband and I have only grown more alike as the years have passed. I don’t know that this decreases “vexation,” though, as I am perfectly capable of arguing with myself. I do agree that it’s probably better for the defects of one’s mate to be revealed slowly over time rather than all at once at the beginning of the relationship. They may have scared me away had I known them all ahead of time, but as it happened, the revelation of both of our defects appears to have kept pace with the deepening of our affection for one another, which strikes a lovely balance, I think.