Me: Did you know that Jason Bateman was born in Salt Lake City?*
Spouse: No, I didn’t. I would not have guessed that.
Me: Me, neither. But he does have that kind of clean-cut look.
Spouse: That Salt Lake City look?
Me: Did you know that our son was born in Salt Lake City?
Spouse: Wait, what was Justin Bateman in?
Me: Jason Bateman. Justine is his sister. She was on that show…Family Ties.
Spouse: What does Justine Bateman look like?
Me: Like Jason Bateman only with long hair.**
Spouse: Was she the real tough girl?
Me: No, she was—
Spouse: Was she Tootsie?
Me: Tootie? No, that was that other show. What was that called?
Spouse: Diff’rent Strokes?
Me: No, but there was a Diff’rent Strokes tie-in. It’s the one with Charlotte Rae. You know, [singing] “You take the good, you take the bad, you take ’em both and there you have—”
Spouse and Me Together: The Facts of Life!
[thumbs ups and high-fives]
Spouse: Wait, so Jason Bateman was on Facts of Life?
*Turns out I was incorrect about this. He was born in New York and moved to SLC when he was four, according to the internet. Of course, the internet is also where I got the notion that he was born in SLC. But facts aren’t really important in this particular conversation.
**Justine Bateman also doesn’t look like her brother with long hair. Well, maybe a little when they were kids, but not so much now.